Captains Log:
April 25th, Year 2020, Day 2 of Covid-19 Quarantine
24:00 Captains Log: I have been spotted by what I would describe as furry beasts. A pack of three cunning predators have found my scent. How they made it upon this vessel is unknown to me. I am not certain of their intent with me, a meal, companionship or to track me as game. I.will.not.go.down.without.a.fight!
01:00 Captains Log: I have been cornered! The pack leader wanders sniffing around, I believe he is void of sight as he bumps into everything causing me to jolt from my hiding under my blanket. The second a smaller version of the pack leader has tracked me and has proceeded to bark insistently. The third a small, indifferent, almost smug one looks at me and the other two with no interest. I.am.too.young.to.die!
02:00 Captains Log: I have found these “predators” to be how do I describe it, needy…er, I mean territorial. The pack leader has now found me and insists on toying with me by constantly trying to take over my sleeping quarters. I.believe.war.is.to.come!
02:10 Captains Log: The pack Leader set the diversion, what astounding team work from these predators. While the leader occupied me with his attempts to overtake my sleeping quarters, the smaller version of the leader proceeded to sneak up behind me and draw attention away by licking my bald head like the bottom of a salty french fry bag. As I proceed to thwart his attempts at tenderizing me, the littlest of the pack took over the spot where my body was in attempts to gain warmth! I believe I have misjudged this pack. The littlest one, a female I.believe.is.the.leader.
03:00 Captains Log: The.youngest.predator.is.barking.at.NOTHING!
07:00 Captains Log: The second in command of the Voyager Vessel Courtyard has sent me a message. Message reads: “Do we have anymore hard boiled eggs?” end message. Captains answer “Yes, cooling unit second shelf” end message.
07:05 Captains Log: The signal from the message has unfortunately awoken the predators. They are signaling me by spinning in circles and head-butting me. I believe this is another method of speech. I.will.follow.them.
07:30 Captains Log: The alpha blind male has led me to a door. I open it, expecting the unexpected, hands at my taser, set to kill, his miniature doppelgänger also a male, at his side hopping up and down, the littlest female stands staring with no interest. I open the door and the 2 males exit. The bigger of the 2 urinates in a green field, a field? I must be delusional from lack of slumber. The other smaller male does not partake in the field illusion but urinates on the exterior of the door I just opened. This.one.is.the.antagonist!
09:00 Captains Log: These friggin’ things are asleep! I.am.going.to.bark.at.nothing.
10:00 Captains Log: I have beamed to an uncharted land. As I walk and explore the area, the air on this planet seems to be contaminated as all the inhabitants are masked or they are really ugly. I do not understand their native tongue, I attempt to greet them in English and they simply grunt at me. There.is.no.sign.of.intelligent.life!
11:00 Captains Log: I am on sickbay duty. The patient has requested Coffee or else “she will go plum loco ese!” Hurry.up.and.brew!
13:00 Captains Log: The female pack member has invaded my sleeping quarters. I attempt to move her so I can lie down but she growls, under normal circumstances I would flee but upon observation she is missing all her bottom teeth. Someone.has.gingivitis!
15:00 Captains Log: Stress level is at maximum overdrive. I had one adult beverage and am hammered. There.is.someone.on.the.wing…something!
17:00 Captains Log: Mess Hall CHIPOTLE BITCHES!
18:00 Captains Log: The sickbay patient is in lock-down again. All crew members have retired to their quarters. I have made peace with the pack, bribing them into friendship with Bacon and Cheese Beggin’ Strips. Bacon.is.beasts.best.friend!
19:00 Captains Log: I have no idea how to turn on the TV. I will watch poorly dubbed battle films on my phone. Everyone.was.KungFu.fighting!
19:05 Captains Log: One of the male pack members is gassy. Can’t.breath.air.is.rotten!
20:00 Captains Log: The female pack member, the tiniest of the bunch has decided to lie right smack dab in the middle of my bedding forcing me to lie crooked or wishbone. I.am.contorted.like.a.pretzel!
23:00 Captains Log: Holy crap the little male pack member is barking at NOTHING AGAIN! Someone.needs.a.shock.collar!
23:45 Captains Log: I have heard grumblings one of the crew members is formulating a revolt due to tomorrow’s menu at Mess Hall. Apparently the Captains chicken cutlets are not as good as the crew member in sick bay! You.cut.me.deep.real.deep!
23:59 Captains Log: I made it through 2 days, only 12 more to go… One.step.closer.stay.out.of.prison!
#Adulting 