WTF?

I am a social media voyeur. Unless I have something satirical to post, I usually just gander around liking pictures or posts, funny memes and occasionally the inspirational quote.

I am by no means a scholar. I have the retention of a colander and the attention span of a…oh look a squirrel! I barely passed lunch in school let alone real academic courses such as the class where you add and subtract and the other one when you learn about really old stuff.

I always loved to write, not solely because I felt I was creative, but also because I had really pretty handwriting for a guy and I liked to show it off. I enjoyed the pen and paper, if you were writing and made a mistake, misspelled something, a sentence did not make sense, you had to start over.

With the invention of MS Word, Notes, even this current format I am using to type this, if I make a mistake, I can spell check, delete an entire paragraph, edit it, cut and paste to move words around, link to research a word if I am uncertain of its meaning. It’s limitless how much technology assists us with literacy. No more cursing and crumpling a piece of paper.

As I mentioned, I am a social media voyeur…I also happen to be a judgmental grammar critic, sentence structure faultfinder, who like many want to shake you and ask when we read your social media posts:

WTF?

I am angry, excited, surprised, scared! I want to scream my emotion from a mountain, but I don’t have a mountain, I have social media and right now I am pissed off! So I am going to write frantically in anger to get all of my enraged feelings out without so much as giving a single solitary thought of proof reading my post and the fact you have no idea that I am only watching Game of Thrones and my favorite character just got wronged! “U hav kno idea, hw nraged I jst can not taket, i sware tht thing maks me so angry! Im sure you argree!!!” POST DAMN IT, POST!!!

I understand social media is the closest form for some of the more socially awkward people, to actually communicate with other people (myself being quite awkward as well).  If you don’t want society to think you are an unstable serial killer who wants to wear other peoples skin and would like to be invited to a future party, perhaps proof reading, spell checking and presenting a clear message of what you are trying to say will make a good first impression. So I must ask:

WTF, are you talking about?!?

Vagueposting, its whats in! It’s cool, it’s hip, it’s mysterious, SMDH, FML, WTF screams ‘My life is so complex, ask me why!’ “Hey bro, read your post that said FML, everything ok Bro? you ok Bro? PM me Bro! Bro?…BROOOO?!?!”  These posts are real attention grabbers, like offering a bite of your filet o’ fish to a great white, you get consumed! Smacked with the glaring reality that is social media our posts are interpreted as a cry for help, before we seek real help, “SMDH crazy driver caused an accident!” POST DAMN IT, POST! Don’t call 911, log into your social media account. No need to detail you are only stuck in traffic due to the accident and you are fine. Be sure to worry all 500 of your friends and family by never following up to tell them you are OK and then going social media silent until your next birthday. I must ask you:

WTF is wrong with you?!?

Some people I know may read this and think “that son of sheep herder, he’s talking about me!” Social media has made us all narcissistic, every post anything we can apply to our life or relate too we instantly think it’s about us, ‘did you see that meme it’s so me!’ You mean the one that says “If you keep following your dreams, they’re going to file a restraining order” ‘Yeah that one!‘ I know, I can relate I stalk my ex who was the one of my dreams and….‘No you idiot it means I should quit my job and pursue my dream to…‘ The problem with social media is as personal as you want it to be, it’s still impersonal and the person(s) reading it may take it out of context, like my last social media post which stated “Out getting gas” WTF, am I at Taco Bell or Exxon? You’ll never know, talk to you on my birthday!