Captains Log:

May 4 Year 2020, Day 11 of Covid-19 Quarantine

08:00 Captains Log: Good Morning! Nope…still sleepy. I’m.rolling.over.

09:30 Captains Log: Good Morning part 2. I’m awake now and feeling much better. Advil was the key to reducing the body aches. My.skin.does.not.hurt.so.bad.

10:00 Captains Log: Mess Hall- went with PB&J on wheat. Need food to take my meds. Barf.gurgle.pffffft!!!

11:00 Captains Log: I’m super lethargic and tired. Breathing still hurts some. Going.to.lie.down.

13:00 Captains Log: Lots of folks checking in on us to see how we are all doing. Thank you everyone for showing concern.

14:00 Captains Log: Thank you Sean and Trish for the Milk!

15:00 Captains Log: A little bit of workflow needs my attention. WiFi is super slow because everyone is a worker bee here today. I’ll.wait.

16:00 Captains Log: I try to find something to watch that’ll occupy my mind. Whatever.happened.to.afternoon.cartoons!

18:00 Captains Log: Mess Hall – Charito made grilled chicken and some air fryer tater tots. I still don’t have much of an appetite but a few tater tots with Ketchup were delish! I.eat.like.an.8.year.old

19:00 Captains Log: I watched the movie Polar on Netflix. A kickass movie with Mads Mikkelsen, pretty gruesome but worth the watch. Ass.kickin.stone.cold.killa.

20:00 Captains Log: Going to take some sleepy time medicine soon. No fever today. Body aches at a low. Still having some swimmers cough when I take deep breaths, but I am getting full breaths. Have.to.clarify.don’t.want.my.momma.getting.nervous.

20:30 Captains Log: Looks like it’s sleepy time for me. The pack is all tucked in. Goodnight.neverland.

23:59 Captains Log: that was short lived, I have heartburn. I have no food in my body how the hell do I have heartburn! I.need.some.R.o.l.a.i.d.s!

Captains Log:

May 3 Year 2020, Day 10 of Covid-19 Quarantine

04:59 Captains Log: I’m awake and achy. I need more sleep. I will reload on the Alka Seltzer, some Tylenol and try and catch a few more hours of recovery sleep. Stop.opening.you.dumb.eyes!

09:30 Captains Log: Charito is awake. I am going to get up also to eat something to take some meds. Food.sounds.horrible.

10:00 Captains Log: I made an English muffin with a couple eggs and cheese. I dry heave swallowing half and offer Charito the rest. Stay.in.my.belly!

10:30 Captains Log: I’m gonna lie down. As I proceed to review social media Jameson has begun staring at me and huffing in an attempt to gain my attention. I attempt to ignore him but he is persistent. I bow my head in a gesture of compromise and he proceeds to exfoliate my bald head. Peace.is.achieved.

12:00 Captains Log: Mess–Hall Ham, Turkey and cheese on white. Food.makes.me.wanna.spew!

14:00 Captains Log: Watching some videos, bored, tired, achy, bored, bored, bored! Bored.in.italic.again.

15:30 Captains Log: I am sitting outside. It’s very warm and really nice. I’m now irritable and hot. I’m going inside to put myself in a TimeOut.

15:45 Captains Log: Since March 16th up to a little over a week ago I was working 10 – 12 hours per day, going at 3000mph. Up at 4:45am running 3.5 miles, on the road by 6:30am, at work by 7am. Working my face off in full PPE, working in unsafe conditions exposed to other people’s germs. Coming home, stripping at the door, if it was a lifting day, right to the dungeon, but everyday I would wash my clothes, shower, THEN greet my family, repeat. I did everything right. Only for it to be halted on a dime. I am responding to a work email and realizing I will not be there for another week or longer. During the most trying time in the history of hospitality I was all in and now I have been reduced to watching from the sidelines. Someone.is.angry.and.feeling.sorry.for.himself.I’ll.stay.in.timeout.

16:30 – 18:30 Captains Log: I decide to watch a movie. It’s a movie about a bad Superman as a child. I love the concept, movie was mediocre, concept awesome. Thank.goodness.superman.is.on.our.side.Or.is.he?

19:00 Captains Log: Mess Hall – Chicken noodle soup. Mmm.mmm.soup.is.good.food.

20:00 Back lying down. I’m having a little trouble with deep breaths when I’m standing up. I feel like I have a swimmers cough. Don’t.wanna.panic.its.easier.to.breath.lying.down.

20:30 Captains Log: I am about to go get some sleepy time meds and some Tylenol. Don’t.want.to.wake.up.tonight.

21:00 Captains Log: I am logging off for the evening. I am super angry and very hostile. It is now going on week two of being home and I am achy and am having a hard time with deep breaths. Also, The Courtyard Vessel is engaging Phase 1 of our multi phase plan to resume regular operations tomorrow and while I have orchestrated the plan, I will not be there to assist in the execution. Ain’t.that.a.kick.in.the.melons.

22:00 Captains Log: Irritability explained. I am running a100.2 fever again. This shit sucks!! SUCKS!!!!!

Captains Log:

May 2 Year 2020, Day 9 of Covid-19 Quarantine

24:01 – 03:00 Captains Log: I am trying to get comfortable. This virus has given me such insomnia. Tonight.I’m.taking.night.time.meds.

08:00 Captains Log: A few hours of restless sleep. I need to get some food for my medicine. I can honestly say I do feel a lot better. Body aches are still crazy, but the headache has subsided. Sun.is.out.gonna.get.some.vitamin.D.

10:00 Captains Log: Holy crap I look homeless! I need to buzz my head and shave. I literally look like I’ve been panhandling at Penn Station. Shave.and.a.haircut.2.bits!

11:00 Captains Log: All showered and soaking up the sun! I.feel.its.healing.affects.

13:00 Captains Log: I am actually pretty washed out and sleepy. I think I’m going to take a nap! You.are.getting.sleepy.sleepy…

15:00 Captains Log: A couple rounds of knockout naps. Interrupted by the pack jumping on the bed, off the bed, on the bed…bark,bark, bark!!! Definitely.taking.Alka.Seltzer.night.medicine.

16:00 Captains Log: Back on the deck in the sun. I am very tired and lethargic today. My town is not, it is a beehive buzzing with activity as every neighbor has a list of projects they are all trying to complete today and there have been no less then 3 loud ass drive-by birthdays which included fire trucks! If.I.can’t.sleep.tonight.I’m.mowing.my.lawn.…at 3am!

17:00 Captains Log: Still no fever. This will make a full 48 hours. UTI is clearing up, it is nice not to fear the simple task of going pee-pee! It.is.now.just.a.little.spark.

18:30 Captains Log: Charito can no longer be labeled as sick bay patient. She is now back to being the full time Queen of this Vessel. She prepared a delicious meal for the crew, and some rice for me which was easily digestible. She.is.easy.on.the. eyes.too.

20:00 Captains Log: I have consumed Alka Seltzer Cold Night Time Medicine. Have to get rid of these body aches! Hopefully.this.is.my.last.entry.for.the.evening.

Captains Log:

May 1 Year 2020, Day 8 of Covid-19 Quarantine

03:00 Captains Log: The Advil Sinus Congestion and Pain has soothed the headache. If there were indeed a building crew working overtime in my head, Advil was the building inspector who pulled their permits! Now.to.reduce.the.eye.pain.

08:00 Captains Log: Holy crap I feel better! Like honest to goodness better, on a scale of 1 – 10, 1 being yesterday my worst day, today I am a solid 5. I.believe.the.UTI.caused.the.fever!

08:30 Captains Log: I need food to take my meds. I was hoping for an English muffin with an egg, but Charito is asleep in the living room. I have decided to get some cereal, which was the noisiest selection due to the wrapping! She is now awake! I try to explain I was trying to be quiet, but she cuts me off and states “you are so noisy!” I’ll.eat.my.cereal.in.quarantine.

10:00 Captains Log: I must’ve dozed off or went through a space worm hole because I can’t remember the last hour and a half. I.had.a.brief.siesta.

11:00 Captains Log: I am outside with the pack. It’s beautiful, warm, sunny. And overall a positive vibe.

11:15 Captains Log: I spoke too soon or pissed off the Gods it’s now pouring!

11:30 Captains Log: Raccoon sighting in the daytime! The sewers must be flooding! Does.someone.need.a.hug!

12:30 Captains Log: Mess-Hall Ham, Turkey and Cheese whole wheat bread, mayo. Tummy.is.churning.

13:00 Captains Log: I have some work that needs my attention. I am attempting to not wear my glasses due to the pain in my eyes. This proves to be a mistake as I wrote an entire email in emojis! 🤣🤪😂😍

13:30 Captains Log: Sean and Trish come through again dropping off more Advil Sinus medicine for me. I owe them dinner and drinks! Thank you both. Bonus.the.bag.contains.krimpets.and.PB.eggs.

14:00 Captains Log: Omaha Steak delivery has arrived. This was definitely a panicky impulse buy. We have no space at all for all this meat nor the appetite to consume it. Social.Distance.BBQ.is.coming.soon.

15:00 Captains Log: Still no fever today. Groggy and my eyes hurt still. But.fever.free.

16:00 Captains Log: I had to get some more reporting sent out to the Houston Vessel. I will await the commanders call to discuss. Hopefully.he.is.enjoying.an.adult.beverage.

17:00 Captains Log: Bored! Bored.in.italic.

18:00 Captains Log: Charito is making buttered noodles. I have no appetite but the sound of that sounds simple and so digestible! They.were.cheesy.and.delicious

18:15 Captains Log; Huge shoutout to our boo bear crew member Niko for doing all the dishes and emptying the dishwasher. That.was.epic.thank.you!!!

19:00 – 21:42 Captains Log: During the last 7 days I have watched one movie a poorly dubbed Kung Fu film. Today I decided to watch a more mainstream movie and went with Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. This movie was exactly 160 minutes too long in my opinion. I’m.no.critic.but.I.didn’t.like.it.

22:00 Captains Log: Feeling better, hopefully I will sleep through the night. I am happy Charito has taken to my side again and is back where she belongs in our sleeping quarters together. She’s.my.security.blanket.

22:08 Captains Log: In case you were wondering The Pack is in bed with us as well. Stop.panting.twitching.and.move.over!

24:00 Captains Log: I recall being sick in my youth, even as recent as this past December where I had a nasty upper respiratory infection, all I wanted to do was sleep. This time around, sleep is basically non-existent. I feel better, but I know one night of sleep or even one solid nap will be the game changer. I.think.I’m.hungry.

Captains Log:

April 30 Year 2020, Day 7 of Covid-19 Quarantine

24:30 Captains Log: I am jarred awake by what I can only describe as someone jackhammering my brain through both of my eyes. This headache is excruciating! Something.is.eating.my.brain!

01:00 – 05:00 Captains Log: I am making every attempt to comfort my head. Whatever creature has invaded my brain and is building affordable housing I am begging you to find another development zone! I.am.going.to.need.to.speak.to.a.supervisor!

05:01 Captains Log: My reminder pops up its time to run. I.can’t.even.crawl!

07:00 Captains Log: I am in a bunch of pain, on top of the fevers, body aches, the most recent discovery of flames shooting out of my wedding tackle. This brain splitting headache has now made today first place of the worst day. Sucker.punched!

08:00 Captains Log: Food has lost its appeal, but I have to eat. I go with my brothers favorite meal Yogurt, berries and some granola. It is yummy and digests well. Big.brother.is.on.to.something.

09:15 Captains Log: Doctors appointment for my flaming weiner. Thank God antibiotics prescribed, hopefully it will work on reducing the fever and the inferno in my loins. This.entry.is.TMI!

10:00 Captains Log: Sick bay patient has no fever. Our crew member Alexis the same. Sick Bay patient is an exotic bird, I have begun calling her Charito. She has taken command of this Vessel. She insists I now reside to the sickbay quarters to get adequate rest. I attempt to protest but she stares me down and I retreat. She.must.be.from.the.same.lineage.as.the.feline.below.deck!

11:00 Captains Log: Oh my, this bed is comfy! Where.have.you.been.all.my.life!

13:00 Captains Log: Crew member Niko picked up my meds, Charito made me a sandwich so I don’t “get a belly ache” with the meds. This crew is amazing. Where I was once supposed to be the nurturer, I am now the nurtured. I’ve.got.my.eye.on.all.of.them.

15:00 Captains Log: I took a little nap, it was a light nap as the construction crew in my head reminded me of its presence by beginning installation of a second story. I.need.an.ice.pack.

16:00 Captains Log: The pack has found their way to the new sleeping quarters. This.battle.will.not.go.well.for.them.

18:00 Captains Log: Mess hall – soup and some pretzels for dinner. Easy.easy.feeling.queasy.

18:01 Captains Log: Apparently the pack is fond of pretzels as well as they have formed a tribal dance where they hop on their hind legs for treats. They.are.circus.folk.

19:30 Captains Log: My head is pounding and my eyes are killing me. If anything of excitement occurs I will log at a later hour. My.glasses.are.making.me.wanna.puke!

22:00 Captains Log: Jameson is on watch and high alert apparently former sickbay patient Charito is coming close, to use the lavatory, he notifies me with his high pitched bark that sends my already pounding headache into a flaming train crash! Don’t.move.or.he’ll.bark.

24:00 Captains Log: I’m now getting desperate, my head and sinuses are extremely uncomfortable. I have a high tolerance for pain, but this is abuse. I am breaking out the Advil Sinus medicine. Must.find.relief.

Captains Log:

April 29, Year 2020, Day 6 of Covid-19 Quarantine

03:00 Captains Log: The largest pack member Bacardi has taken to “spooning” me in my mattress. Outweighing him by 200lbs I attempt to move him over. It seems he has mastered the art of body manipulation, as I move my body to push him over, he takes advantage and fills in the gap I left open and somehow is now even closer to me! I.must.find.a.way.move.him.over!

05:00 Captains Log: Biological clock says rise and shine time to run. Body aches and chills have declared this a no contest. You.win.another.round.stupid.virus

05:01 Captains Log: Lavatory for me. Pack needs to go out. Bacardi has taken to the field like a good boy. Jameson the drunk urinates on the corner of a bench! I.am.going.need.to.pressure.wash!

08:00 Captains Log: Provisions delivery has arrived! I am weepy as I open the first bag and find…LUCKY CHARMS! And.some.other.healthy.sh*t

08:30 Captains Log: The parcels include Milk-bone doggie treats. The kind that take effort to chew. Which should be no problem at all for a species with canine jaws and teeth. It is this Captains determination that the youngest member Jameson is spoiled beyond reason due to alway consuming soft chew Bacon snackies. Upon receipt of new treat he has spit it out no less then 4 times in an effort to soften it. Even.the.female.with.no.teeth.can.chew.it.

09:00 Captains Log: Message from Captain to Vessel Courtyard, Message: “Good morning, can someone take a look at May 9th, it seems to stick out maybe rooms in a block?” end message – Vessel Courtyard response: “Its wedding reservations that have not changed their dates, I will contact them” end message.

09:30 Captains Log: Sickbay patient is running a low grade fever. She has coffee so we are all safe. She will return to her recovery. Her intentions to resume normal life are now reset to ZERO. I.hate.to.say.it.but.I.told.ya.so!

10:00 Captains Log: I feel the need to repeat, A hot shower when you are sick is the bees knees baby! I’m.melting.melting.melting!

11:00 Captains Log: While my taste, smell and appetite are still off the magically delicious marshmallows in Lucky Charms should be classified as supportive medicine for Covid-19! So.sweet.my.teeth.hurt.but.I.don’t.care.

12:00 Captains Log: Pack member Bacardi is once again not practicing social distancing. He is currently curled up on top of me, I believe he is trying to gain access to the sweatshirt I am wearing. Any.closer.he’ll.be.wearing.my.clothes.

13:00 Captains Log: I will admit while I love to work hard, and am not a fan of being sick, being able to lie down at 1pm is rather rewarding. This.is.unfamiliar.

13:05 Captains Log: Short lived, Competing with this virus, I believe is a urinary tract infection. Gotta.pee.again.

13:10 Captains Log: I have resumed my resting only to be forcefully overthrown with affection by the 2 male pack members. They have both proceeded to mount my chest and overpower me with doggie kisses. No.concept.of.personal.space.

14:00 Captains Log: A delivery of more provisions have arrived! Single serving sizes of Lucky Charms, and a friend of this crew a man who exemplifies leadership and command Cap’n Crunch and his Crunch Berries. crunchify.me.Captain!

16:00 Captains Log: On the phone with the doctor again, need to try and get some meds for the ole Wedding Tackle. Something is not right with my meat and two veg. Holy.crap.it.hurts.to.pee.

17:30 Captains Log: Mess Hall- The crew has shown excitement that the Asian Cuisine establishments have re-opened, this crew member could do without. Perhaps soup and a CAP’N CRUNCH and LUCKY CHARM combo meal! My.dentist.will.not.be.happy!

19:00 Captains Log: I went with the soup only. Food is making me nauseous. Fever is back.

19:30 Captains Log: I am tucked in, relaxed and ready to try and get an early slumber…and UPS just dropped off boxes! I’m.up!

19:31 Captains Log: Good news, bad news and good news regarding this delivery. Good news: one of the boxes contained like a 1000 cookies! Bad news: my new running sneakers came in and I can’t use them. Good News: cookies, now, jog them off when I’m better with my new running shoes!! It’s.a.vicious.cycle.

20:00 Captains Log: Sick bay patient and the rest of crew have retired to their quarters. The pack has found their place on my mattress and the couch. Gonna.be.an.early.night.

23:00 Captains Log: Bacardi and Jameson are mattress hogs. My attempts at comfort are over, I am retreating to the couch and building a cushion fort to keep them out. The mattress is now theirs! I.have.been.defeated!

Captains Log:

April 28, Year 2020, Day 5 of Covid-19 Quarantine

24:00 Captains Log: I was sound asleep and woke to the scream of my bladder. Dreaming.of.water.parks.

05:00 Captains Log: Internal alarm clock signals its time to run. Body aches, cough and fatigue. They.win.this.round.

05:01 Captains Log: I will review electronic messages and hopefully doze off again. The pack members have not moved and seem to want to sleep. Must.rest.body.is.weary.

05:30 Captains Log: Message from Vessel Courtyard, message reads: “Guest in room 532 says room smells like cigarette smoke, I have moved his room, I have found no sign or smell.” End message. Captains response: “good job” end response.

06:00 Captains Log: Sick bay patient has taken on the role of medic. I will have to keep my eyes on her, I feel a mutiny is abound! I.think.I’m.falling.for.her

08:00 Captains Log: Good Lord I have to pee! I.think.this.infection.has.given.me.another.infection…

09:00 Captains Log: Mess Hall- no taste buds but want some yummy food. Grits, eggs, chicken sausage and a sprinkle of cheese. I share a small portion with sick bay patient. Can’t.taste.but.my.belly.is.warm

10:00 Captains Log: A hot shower feels like heaven, H-E-A-V-E-N!! Dove.soap.must.be.an.angel.

11:00 Captains Log: The Sun Star is above, it is warm and soothing. The natural vitamin D engulfs me. I let it consume me. Peace, tranquility…and those two Squirrels are having sex on the shed! This.is.a.family.blog!

12:00 Captains Log: I have a slight fever again. I am calling the outside medics to see if I can get some advice. Hold.music.is.terrible.

13:30 Captains Log: Medic gave me advice I could’ve read on Google. Strategy remains the same I am in isolation for a couple weeks. Y’all.gonna.make.me.lose.my.mind

14:00 Captains Log: One of my provision deliveries has arrived. We now have more potato chips in this vessel then a damn 7/11! Mrs.Vicks.salt.and.vinegar.chips.are.everything

14:30 Captains Log: For some reason I just became a donkey on the edge. My emotional output is in overdrive and an outburst ensued. Captain.needs.a.timeout!

15:00 Captains Log: The pack has taken to slumber. I will follow their lead and rest my body in hopes of rapid recovery. Upon rising I will need to address the pack, as we have no more Bacon Snackies! This.is.worse.than.Covid-19!

17:00 Captains Log: Received some positive news today. Our top account for Vessel Courtyard will open in 2 – 3 weeks, this should assist in bringing back crew members. Now.the.challenge.begins

18:30 Captains Log: Mess Hall- thank God I don’t have much of an appetite but under normal circumstances I could crush a Giant Jersey Mikes Turkey Club! Crush.it!

20:00 Captains Log: The entire pack is restless. I believe they are upset that there are no more Bacon Snacks and have been reduced to receiving Wheat Thins as treats until more provisions come tomorrow. The youngest male Jameson has taken to protesting by sprinting up and down the corridor, growling and huffing at non-existent foes. Someone.needs.a.therapist.

21:00 Captains Log: Crew has all retired to their quarters. Separation is not fun, but wise due to me now having a fever. No.I.don’t.need.more.cowbell.

22:00 Captains Log: I have realized my expectations of finding comfort in this blow up mattress are decreasing exponentially. The pack has increased its forge to take it over, and my body is beginning to remind me that a real mattress is going to be needed very soon. Whats.your.sleep.number?

23:00 Captains Log: Lights out, damn it lavatory first, then lights out. Sleep.pee.repeat.

23:59 Captains Log: The pack has once again taken to digging in my blankets and mattress. They must be subterranean creatures. If.they.don’t.stop.they.will.be!

Captains Log:

April 27, Year 2020, Day 4 of Covid-19 Quarantine

24:00 Captains Log: I have downloaded a game on my portable communicating device to occupy some time while the large male hogs the middle of my bed and dreams he is a motorcycle. Roll.over.rover!

01:00 Captains Log: Honestly, this dog is snoring like a Harley Davidson road trip! He.must.run.on.batteries!

02:00 Captains Log: By the center of a jelly donut! Stop snoring! Could it be? YES! I have never been so happy, I have to use the lavatory! Thank you infant like bladder! The large male is awake and follows me. Hurry.up.I.may.not.make.it!

02:01 Captains Log: HOLY SH*T the little one named Jameson is barking at me! Oye.vey.it’s.me!

03:00 Captains Log: Must get to sleep before the snoring-starts-again…and…too late. How’d.he.do.that?

06:45 Captains Log: Message from Vessel Courtyard Engineer – Message reads: “who is coming in at 7?” Response from Vessel Courtyard Acting Captain: “Why do you ask? It’s the same person every week and you still have 15 minutes!” end message. I.believe.tensions.may.be.high.

07:00 Captains Log: I would normally be at the Vessel Courtyard by this time, ready to forge ahead with our remaining crew members to ensure we are functioning at maximum effort with the resources we have. This pandemic has sunk this Captains morale like a photon torpedo to the hull. I miss my crew and working hard with them. However I always live by a motto, Health and Family first. I would hate to jeopardize my Courtyard families health and now need to take care of my Home Vessel family. A.somber.entry.reality.bites.

08:00 Captains Log: Sick bay patient is awake, her coffee is brewing. Day 4, I receive no threats from the patient. Thanks.Mr.Coffee.

10:00 Captains Log: My mother informs me she is dropping off eggs and milk to the Home Vessel. As her vehicle pulls into view, I am outside bringing a sanitation receptacle to the docking station. Mother sees this, scowls and with a swift swooshing wave of her hand I am retreating back inside. Memories flood back from my youth of that very signal which signifies “Get your ass in that house!” Momma.ain’t.playing!

12:00 Captains Log: Today I am feeling the effects of this virus. My palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There’s vomit on my sweater already, mom’s spaghetti
I’m nervous, but on the surface I look calm and ready to drop bombs, but I keep on forgettin‘. WebMD Covid-19 symptoms or Eminem? You.be.the.judge.

12:01 Captains Log: My own skin is irritating me! Achy.sneezy.coughing.

13:00 Captains Log: The day has a bright spot. I was able to procure a provision delivery slot from the local merchant. Lucky.Charms.are.on.their.way!

14:00 Captains Log: The pack is confused. I assume they are accustomed to free run of the environment. Having 24 hour human interaction seems to have them confused but content with the companionship. I venture below deck to retrieve water only to be encountered by another furry like creature of feline descent. While the pack on main deck show excitement with the interaction, this species is looking at me with contempt. My confidence has been rapidly depleted by this creature. I have second guessed all my hypothesis regarding the pack and who leads it. This feline is definitely in charge! Why.does.she.stare.at.me.that.way?

14:05 Captains Log: I engage the feline creature. Offer food water and affection. All accepted, for about 8 seconds at which point she hisses and retreats back to her quarters. I assume she has mistaken me for a predator. I whisper to her “I mean you no harm…” she stares me down forcing me to break eye contact and retreat above deck. Must.be.a.cat!

15:00 Captains Log: I have decided this virus sucks red baboon ass. My taste is slowly fading and my sense of smell has dissipated. While this will be useful in the event the pack is once again flatulent, I feel the loss of taste and smell will ruin the anticipated arrival of the Lucky Charms. They’re.magically.delicious.

17:00 Captains Log: Mess Hall Chicken soup from Panera. Penicillin.for.the.soul.

19:00 Captains Log: This virus is a rollercoaster, I now have a low grade 100.2 fever. I have requested extra meds. Delivery is swift by my brother Sean and sister-in-law Trish it’s nice having people who care for you’re well being. The.Devil.Dog.and.cupcake.were.a.bonus!

19:30 Captains Log: The sickbay patient and crew have retired to their quarters. The Pack has made themselves comfortable spread out on my mattress leaving my legs a small path to stretch. No.bed.yoga.tonight.

20:00 Captains Log: I think this will be my last entry for the evening. I must rest. There are rumors there will finally be a big yellow ball of fire sighting tomorrow. People are calling it “The Sun.” After days cooped up I look forward to sitting deck side and getting some Natural Vitamin D. Yes.I.just.ate.the.cupcake!

20:01 Captains Log: Correction: Loss of smell due to Coronavirus is no match for dog farts! Someone.light.a.match!

Captains Log:

April 26th, Year 2020, Day 3 of Covid-19 Quarantine

24:00 Captains Log: Message from Vessel Courtyard – “Can we board a pharmacist, she has all her essential travel paperwork?” Captains response: “Affirmative, let her know we have hardboiled eggs for breakfast”

01:00 Captains Log: The entire pack has now invaded my sleeping quarters. Their ability to use there paws as tools are amazing, albeit futile as they all begin to dig into a blanket and blow-up mattress that shows no sign of anything worth digging for. I.will.have.to.reinflate.tomorrow.

03:00 Captains Log: Damn my infant like bladder. The pack has apparently chosen me as their new Alpha as they follow me to the lavatory for an impromptu staff meeting. I.must.remember.close.the.door.

04:00 Captains Log: The large male of the pack must’ve been a warrior in his past life. He is twitching and making battle cries while he sleeps.

04:01 Captains Log: Upon further notice those are not battle cries, they are sounds I can only describe as “woo, woo, woo,” perhaps he was not a warrior, perhaps in his past life he was one of the Three Stooges. He’s.doing.the.curly.shuffle.

05:00 Captains Log: My biological clock is always set to rise for exercise at this time. The pack senses this and whilst I will not be exercising today, their bladders are not adhering to my commands to “Lie down, go back to sleep!” The youngest male of the pack accentuates his demands to go out with a headbutt to my ear.  Ow.that.really.hurt.

07:00 Captains Log: Overall a better night of slumber, the pack and I have come to a mutual understanding. I do what they say, when they say it and they will give me a small portion of mattress, some blanket and let me sleep…a little. This.seems.one.sided.

09:00 Captains Log: Sickbay patient “COFFEE!!!” Captains (inner monologue) Response: “Tasers set to stun!” Captains (true) Response: “It’s.on.its.way.Loveybear!”

10:00 Captains Log: A battle has ensued! The youngest male furry beast has become unruly. The littlest one, I have named him Jameson due to acting like a drunken Irishman, has gone into what one would describe as puppy rage. He is pouncing the larger male I have named Bacardi who has apparently made a kill. A small giraffe carcass has been gutted, its stuffing everywhere! The sight is horrifying as I now need to vacuum again. The female, I call her Pinot, is uninterested and ignores all of this. I stay away, best to let these disputes resolve themselves. The.mayhem.is.terrifying.

11:00 Captains Log: I must approve payroll for the Vessel Courtyard. The Captain will go  no pay going forward and exhaust his earned paid time off while in quarantine. Ain’t.this.a.kick.in.the.nuts.

13:00 Captains Log: I am in search of food rations to be delivered. I have explored all my usual resources that I have used prior to this pandemic and have found the hoarders of the world have taken every delivery time slot. I.just.want.some.Lucky.Charms!

13:15 Captains Log: The Captains mother has made contact with the Home Vessel. I made mention I was thinking of venturing out to buy eggs and milk at Vessel Quick Chek. The Captains mother scolded him and forbade him from leaving the vessel while under quarantine. The.Captain.still.fears.his.momma.

13:30 Captains Log: I just ordered $300 worth of meat from Omaha Steaks, I pray they can make a delivery to Space, the Final Frontier. Or.at.least.Fanwood.

15:00 Captains Log: Although it is only Day 3, I fear the confusion of what I am to do and what is to come has gotten the best of my control. I have totally forgotten to eat breakfast and lunch and have instead partaken in a brunch consisting of a cup of peanut butter crunch ice cream. Day.four.I.am.working.out!

17:00 Captains Log: Mess Hall – Rudy’s Italian oh momma Mia!

18:00 Captains Log: Drunken Irish pack member Jameson is restless, he has begun bulldozing the pillows on my mattress in an attempt to gain the attention of the slumbering pack members. This.pup.is.loco!

19:00 Captains Log: I have figured out how to use the TV! I.am.genius

19:05 Captains Log: 1800 channels and nothing on. TV.off

20:00 Captains Log: All crew members are in their quarters. The mood is sullen. Everyone but Crew Member Niko has cold like symptoms. I feared my digestive track was a victim of this outbreak, then remembered my breakfast and lunch consisted of ice cream, and I am lactose intolerant. It.was.the.dog!

21:00 Captains Log: I am attempting to squeeze my way into my sleeping quarters between the 3 pack members. I believe they neglect to recall the Alpha gets the choice of comfort, I also believe they only gave me the title of Alpha because I have access to the bacon snacks. Another.night.of.bed.yoga.

23:00 Captains Log: The sick bay patient is now sleeping with the door open. The female pack member Pinot has begun her plot to overthrow the king size suite. Bwahahahah!

23:59 Captains Log: Karma is a bitch, the largest of the pack has taken a liking to my sleeping quarters and is not practicing social distancing. Move.over.you’re.hogging.the.whole.damn.bed!

Captains Log:

April 25th, Year 2020, Day 2 of Covid-19 Quarantine

24:00 Captains Log: I have been spotted by what I would describe as furry beasts. A pack of three cunning predators have found my scent. How they made it upon this vessel is unknown to me. I am not certain of their intent with me, a meal, companionship or to track me as game. I.will.not.go.down.without.a.fight!

01:00 Captains Log: I have been cornered! The pack leader wanders sniffing around, I believe he is void of sight as he bumps into everything causing me to jolt from my hiding under my blanket. The second a smaller version of the pack leader has tracked me and has proceeded to bark insistently. The third a small, indifferent, almost smug one looks at me and the other two with no interest. I.am.too.young.to.die!

02:00 Captains Log: I have found these “predators” to be how do I describe it, needy…er, I mean territorial. The pack leader has now found me and insists on toying with me by constantly trying to take over my sleeping quarters. I.believe.war.is.to.come!

02:10 Captains Log: The pack Leader set the diversion, what astounding team work from these predators. While the leader occupied me with his attempts to overtake my sleeping quarters, the smaller version of the leader proceeded to sneak up behind me and draw attention away by licking my bald head like the bottom of a salty french fry bag. As I proceed to thwart his attempts at tenderizing me, the littlest of the pack took over the spot where my body was in attempts to gain warmth! I believe I have misjudged this pack. The littlest one, a female I.believe.is.the.leader.

03:00 Captains Log: The.youngest.predator.is.barking.at.NOTHING!

07:00 Captains Log: The second in command of the Voyager Vessel Courtyard has sent me a message. Message reads: “Do we have anymore hard boiled eggs?” end message. Captains answer “Yes, cooling unit second shelf” end message.

07:05 Captains Log: The signal from the message has unfortunately awoken the predators. They are signaling me by spinning in circles and head-butting me. I believe this is another method of speech. I.will.follow.them.

07:30 Captains Log: The alpha blind male has led me to a door. I open it, expecting the unexpected, hands at my taser, set to kill, his miniature doppelgänger also a male, at his side hopping up and down, the littlest female stands staring with no interest. I open the door and the 2 males exit. The bigger of the 2 urinates in a green field, a field? I must be delusional from lack of slumber. The other smaller male does not partake in the field illusion but urinates on the exterior of the door I just opened. This.one.is.the.antagonist!

09:00 Captains Log: These friggin’ things are asleep! I.am.going.to.bark.at.nothing.

10:00 Captains Log: I have beamed to an uncharted land. As I walk and explore the area, the air on this planet seems to be contaminated as all the inhabitants are masked or they are really ugly. I do not understand their native tongue, I attempt to greet them in English and they simply grunt at me. There.is.no.sign.of.intelligent.life!

11:00 Captains Log: I am on sickbay duty. The patient has requested Coffee or else “she will go plum loco ese!” Hurry.up.and.brew!

13:00 Captains Log: The female pack member has invaded my sleeping quarters. I attempt to move her so I can lie down but she growls, under normal circumstances I would flee but upon observation she is missing all her bottom teeth. Someone.has.gingivitis!

15:00 Captains Log: Stress level is at maximum overdrive. I had one adult beverage and am hammered. There.is.someone.on.the.wing…something!

17:00 Captains Log: Mess Hall CHIPOTLE BITCHES!

18:00 Captains Log: The sickbay patient is in lock-down again. All crew members have retired to their quarters. I have made peace with the pack, bribing them into friendship with Bacon and Cheese Beggin’ Strips. Bacon.is.beasts.best.friend!

19:00 Captains Log: I have no idea how to turn on the TV. I will watch poorly dubbed battle films on my phone. Everyone.was.KungFu.fighting!

19:05 Captains Log: One of the male pack members is gassy. Can’t.breath.air.is.rotten!

20:00 Captains Log: The female pack member, the tiniest of the bunch has decided to lie right smack dab in the middle of my bedding forcing me to lie crooked or wishbone. I.am.contorted.like.a.pretzel!

23:00 Captains Log: Holy crap the little male pack member is barking at NOTHING AGAIN! Someone.needs.a.shock.collar!

23:45 Captains Log: I have heard grumblings one of the crew members is formulating a revolt due to tomorrow’s menu at Mess Hall. Apparently the Captains chicken cutlets are not as good as the crew member in sick bay! You.cut.me.deep.real.deep!

23:59 Captains Log: I made it through 2 days, only 12 more to go… One.step.closer.stay.out.of.prison!