Your Ear is on Fire!

Today is my 49th birthday. As I get older and wiser (I use wiser loosely) I have some concerns and objections about this adulthood thing specifically all this damn ear hair!

Where did all my hair go, and where did all this “other” hair come from? The lack of landscaping on top of the ole noggin does not concern me in the least, I had terrible hair growing up, however I do not approve of the redirection of growth settling in and around my ears! I trim my ear hair daily, only to awake with a proliferation of newly sprouted wiry ear hair. It’s disgusting.

I like to think of myself as well groomed. Ear hair has made my grooming even more critical. It is like a seasonal Spring time battle between grass and weeds! Pull weeds in one section of your lawn, turn around and a wise ass gang of dandelions have decided to join the party. You don’t know where they came from, but there they are.

I have hair in other parts of my body, but have found solutions. One of the best inventions for random shoulder and back hair patches is the Back Blade (https://www.amazon.com/BAKblade-2-0-PLUS-Removal-Pain-Free/dp/B071JSSF8T) no more body hair for me, just don’t look in my ears or you may lose an eye.

In frustration due to my inability to thwart and remove the pesky ear hairs I decided to go to old reliable, Google. (As a disclaimer I do not recommend following the methods I attempted to use for hair removal.)

Google search: “How to remove ear hair?” : Electric trimmer: I use it daily. Electrolysis: Costly not available today. Tweezing: Rosie does that for me, painful. Duct Tape: Duct Tape? Wait, I have duct tape…let me see if there is a…HOLY CRAP there is a YouTube video on how to remove ear hair with duct tape and it worked for the old man demonstrating it! Cut a small piece, attach to area with ear hair, let sit for a minute, pull, SON OF A BITCH, that hurts! And, no hair on the tape. FAIL…next. Depilatory Creams: What the hell is that? Oh, its sort of like Nair, I have that. Apply to area, let sit for a few minutes, wipe off…tick tock, tick tock, goodbye hairy ears and…demon spawn ear hairs are still there! FAIL…next. Singe: Like use fire? Near my ears? Fire? Let me see if there is a…HOLY CRAP there is a YouTube Video!!!

Today is my 49th Birthday, I have 1st degree burns on my left ear, my right ear is still hairy.